The Survivor of Mental or Emotional Abuse

What to do in a relapse

The Merriam-Webster dictionary defines a relapse as…

The survivor of trauma will relapse from time to time and start to long for the closeness of their abuser/s.

Even though the mind knows that they have made it, they have survived. The reality is a different story.

Old patterns are hard to break.

And often the abusers want to come back as they miss the “high” they got from living off your emotions. They miss belittling and undermining you.

But whatever the case may be, they would have you back in a heartbeat. So you must be careful!

You, the survivor, feel nostalgia for the illusion that was created — be it, the illusion of parental love, romantic love, or the love between friends.

Deep in your heart, you want that love even if you know in your mind that the person hasn’t got the ability to love you, nor have they any intentions of changing.

It’s a difficult stage in recovery because you have already made tremendous progress and you are building a new life, but there will be the low days when you slip back.

You must remember, your abusers can feel the breeze of your absence and they may not be ready to let you go.

You will feel a pull as they increase their sweetness in an attempt to lure you back in.

If you are vulnerable, you might fall prey to this, so keep a supportive network around you.

It is good to learn as much as you can about the effects of emotional abuse on your overall wellbeing because anyone who has suffered abuse of any kind, has a tendency to minimize or disregard the side effects they are experiencing, such as confusion, fear, hopelessness, shame, etc.

They minimize the effects of the emotional abuse because that is what the abusers did to them.

They disregarded your feelings, needs, and wants which led you to doubt yourself.

Here are some things you can do during relapse to comfort yourself.

Recovery from any kind of abuse takes time, so be gentle with yourself. Don’t blame yourself for any of it.

Your job, once you get out of the abusive situation, is to love yourself and make that your number one priority in life.

Orla K. 2021

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