My Destiny Is My Fault

Destiny is often in our hands. It is an effect of the choices we make, and the solutions we find, as we move throughout our lives, day by day. It is a hard truth that can often lead to misdirected negative emotions and feelings. Once we can find our paths to an acceptance of this fact about destiny, it is then the chance for us to choose to right fork in the road.

Accepting our destiny as our own creation can take two very different paths. We may choose a negative source as the power behind our acceptance. In ways like embracing self blame and self loathing. However that does not have to be the path. We can instead choose the different path. The one that helps us further our acceptance, and look into, the real story of the destiny we live. We can learn from our mistakes, instead of self blaming. And it isn’t always easy.

This whole idea, comes to my thought process, because I have come to be mindful of the fact that sometimes I find myself playing back the tape in my mind over and over again. Reflecting back to my very worst of times, where addiction and mental illness fueled the toxicity in which I was living with.

I had to handle my problems in a way that was honest, healthy, and responsible. But it took a long time to take that journey, down a path that was not just best for me, but best for many people around me too. Because with all my mistakes, carried a lot of pain, that hurt others, as well as myself. Problems like these may be coming from just one person, but it is something that many experts believe is a family issue. Addiction is a family disease.

I used to chase that self blame that I mentioned. It was an emotional roller coaster of “what ifs and if only I would have.” Putting a damper on a true chance, of recovery.

Our destiny now may be because of bad choices we made years ago. While that truth can’t always be totally changed, that doesn’t mean that we can’t make new decisions now, that are more positive. Destiny is not only just something that is created off of darkness and toxicity. Destiny can also take us to happier, and brighter times, when we keep our day to day choices in the light. Creating destinies that are full of warmth, and feelings of a healthy, mindful way of living.

So as the title of this short essay states, I claim that destiny is my fault. Don’t let the word fault give you a false perception though. Because while my destiny is my fault, that does not mean that I can’t also claim that my destiny can be my strength, my beauty, and most certainly, my hope.

It is never too late to take a strong grip onto the potential future, that we all have. Destiny of tomorrow, is controlled by our acts of yesterday, and even more importantly, of today as well.

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